Is love really possible? That kind that we see in dramas? That one where two strangers meet in that chance encounter only to fall deeply and passionately in love? Is there such a thing? A thing that fires up all your emotions at once never to be extinguished? I begin to wonder if that is even possible. That kind of love that is both sincere and passionate, serene and yet fiery. I don't understand. Why does it die down now? Why doesn't it stay? Where are the stars and the fireworks? Why has it all gone down the drain? And what is this thing with sacrifice?
There was a time when I wished there was a perfect man. Someone who doesn't need to be told what I want; I am looking for the impossible you might say but can there ever be a time when something is really attainable? I want to believe that he is out there. Alas! This is foolish thinking. Can there be someone like me who longs for the same? What if we meet? Ahh, a perfect recipe for disaster.
They say the flaws of one person make her more unique, special and distinctive. And how perfect is perfect? I don't think I am making any sense but then I fear too much and I dream too much. The problem is not dreaming though. The problem is that I dream too much impossible dreams that I am setting myself for disappointment. Then again, I want that kind of love. A love that sees the quiet moment between me and my lover and yet it feeds us. I long to be with a man who knows me well enough - who will sacrifice everything for me just to let me see how selfish I am but never complains even. Can I never be just selfish? Won't I deserve a bit of love then?
I can picture him in my mind. His angelic face, his arms always stretched out to receive me, his eyes full of love and his smile that never fades. And I can have him. He's not allowed to love any other but me. How selfish. How very selfish that love would be. And yes, I wish that my love for him will never falter and that's how I'll repay him - for his love, kindness and devotion.
|Outfit Details: Dress from SHELIKES; Bag from CHICNOVA; Jewelry from BELLAST.|
But why does love fail me? There is always time - and a little love left. And almost too soon it will be gone. I wish feelings don't deteriorate. Or maybe it's better if you don't let the person get that close to you? Just keep him at an arm's length? So you'd always wonder what if? Things would have been different right? You wont have the chance to fall out of love because you never fell in love in the first place right? Thinking about this even makes me cringe. How could a love so true come out to be false and full of anger and sadness? I must write this last line and it must be me who says it in a script of a tragedy - so this must be goodbye.